What the H#!! is Coaching Anyway?

When I tell people that I am a mom coach, I often get a response with a vague “oh awesome” or a smile and nod.  It’s always obvious which people have no freaking idea what I’m talking about.  I’m still surprised that so many people don’t know what coaching is.  Usually, first thoughts are that coaches give life advice- likely because

that is how it is often portrayed on television.  That couldn’t be further from the truth.  Coaches are trained to NOT give advice but to ask questions so that you can make powerful decisions on your own.

Many people think coaches are like mini-therapists.  Being both a psychotherapist AND a coach, I can tell you they are very different.  The shortest way to explain the difference is to say that therapy is designed to move a person from dysfunctional to functional.  Coaching is designed to move a person from functional to optimal.

I work with my Moms using a specific process. 

Rad Mom Coach Five-Step Coaching Process

Step 1:

REDISCOVER who you are as an individual and get very clear on what your vision of a joyful life would look like.

Step 2:

UNCOVER AND REMOVE the barriers that are getting in your way to living this fulfilling, balanced, and well,… rad life!

Step 3:

CREATE a game plan with your coach.

Step 4:

MAKE YOUR PLAN A REALITY by setting clear, attainable goals and by receiving support to help hold you accountable.

Step 5:

Live it.  Walk the talk and bask in your joy.


This process works from the inside-out.

In the first two steps of this process of coaching (and in more depth as we proceed), we focus on the “inner work” where we rediscover:

  • Who you are as an individual, especially now that you are a mother.
  • What you are passionate about (even if you don’t thing you have passions… you do and we’ll find them!).
  • What YOU WANT your life to look like.
  • What a healthy balance is for you and your family.
  • What has been getting in your way and how to eliminate these blocks.
  • That you aren’t really stuck.  Positive change really is possible if you open up, move forward and take control of your own life.


The last three steps are what we call “outer work”. Now that we are clear on exactly what it is that you want, we can start making profound life changes. In this “outer” process, we:

  • Create a mapped-out plan on how to make your dreams a reality.  Yes, it’s possible, mama.
  • Set realistic and specific weekly goals to move you closer to this dream.  Your coach will help you set these goals and will help keep you motivated and accountable to doing what you set out to do.
  • Realize how joyful your life can actually be and reclaim your fire for life!

 Moms can enter this process at any step depending on her individual needs. Many moms have no idea where to begin on becoming more fulfilled in her motherhood role. Others know what they want, but don’t know how to get there.

 We work together in narrowing the gap between where you are and where you want to be.


If you would like to schedule a complimentary coaching session to see if coaching is right for you, contact Kacey at kacey@theradmom.com or call 516-996-6079.


For information on coaching packages, click here.

Hello There, Stranger!

Oh how I’ve missed you!  Now that my second baby is turning one and totally have this mother-of-two thing figured out and mastered (HAHAHAHAHA), I’m ready to open back up shop to more mamas and offer coaching spots both for individuals and groups.  In other words, ROCK ON.

crazy woman in sunglasses showing tongue rock on gesture signs of positive emotions  and holding a cup of coffee


Stay tuned for exciting things to come this fall.

Can’t wait to hear from you.  🙂


Struggling with Getting Motivated?

Ahhh. It’s finally arrived. Springtime. So many of us while sitting at home freezing our a’s off in winter, dreamt of the time when the leaves return, when we could walk out the door without a 20 minute procedure of wrestling with little ones to force mittens, hats, and Antarctic-ready outerwear on their chilly, wee bodies. In winter, we had a whole list of activities/goals that we were going to do when the warm weather finally arrived- things we couldn’t wait to get to.

And now the spring is here. Why are we finding that these things we’ve planned- couldn’t wait to do- are taking their time to come to fruition? We aren’t quite “hitting the ground running” as we Funny fitness woman ready for gymnastickthought we would. And then we beat ourselves up for it.

This is a theme now among so many of my clients. I have these things I want to accomplish. I keep failing at doing them. I feel like a failure. I just can’t get motivated.

So, for this post, I want to give you some things to think about on how to find some motivated to set you in action.


Shut off the Self-Defeating Voice

What are some of the things you think to yourself when you “fail” to meet your goals? Ones I hear all the time are things like,

“What’s wrong with me?”

“I’m so lazy.”

“I’ll start fresh on Monday since I have already blown this week”.

“I can’t do anything right”.

“I wish I was as motivated as ___.”

“I’m not good at this”.

“I’m a failure”.

We all have our go-to self-critical statements. And man, are they vicious. Imagine you saying these things to another person (which you would NEVER DO! So, btw, why is it okay to say to yourself?). How do you think the person would feel after hearing these messages about themselves?

Defective, inadequate, defeated, disheartened, stuck, disappointed, depressed, frustrated etc.

Let me ask you this… How motivated do you expect to be when you feel this way?


The messages we give to ourselves (aka THOUGHTS), are so incredibly important. They determine how we feel and what we do. When we feel defeated, we do the opposite of what we want which is inaction (or which is eating a tub of ice cream, drinking a bottle of wine, or [insert behaviors that definitely don’t help our cause]).


Get to the heart of the matter

So, what helps when we catch ourselves engaging in negative, self-critical thought, is focusing on the WHY behind what we want to do. Really think about the answers to these questions:

Why do we truly want to achieve this goal? What’s at the heart of it? How will we feel when we get there? How will we feel when we even just take one step forward towards making the dream a reality? How will accomplishing this affect our life?

Focus on THAT.

Sometimes, once we get those answers, it’s very easy to revert back to the whole “but, it feels like I’m never going to get there” thing. Stop yourself. Get back to the heart of it. And read on.


Find an accountability buddy

It can be tremendously powerful to have a friend who also wants to accomplish a goal (which should be all of your friends, by the way) and is willing to partner up with you. You don’t have to be working towards the same thing, just both be aiming for something that is taking a little work to stick to. Develop a plan and communicate to hold one another accountable for taking small steps.


Set yourself up for success

You may have a lofty goal that is going to take a lot of work to accomplish or a smaller goal that just requires getting started and a little consistency. Either way, we need to break down the goal into steps. Something nearly all of my clients are familiar with is my philosophy that in order to get in motion, we have to:

Set yourself up to succeed.

What do I mean by this? In order to gain momentum and turn a “have to” into a “want to”, we have to feel like we are winning. Even just a little. Like I mentioned before, when we are consistently not meeting our goals, we aren’t motivated. We feel beat up.

Many times, the problem lies in the goals themselves (when I say goals here I mean the action steps towards accomplishing your ultimate goal). Nine times out of ten, we are setting our expectations too high- and consequently setting ourselves up to fail.

I’m not saying don’t aim for the stars. AIM for those bad boys. But when it’s the “getting started” thing that we are struggling with, we often need to tweak our steps to allow ourselves some wins.

Let’s use an example:

Let’s say your ultimate goal is to lose 20 pounds by September.

The goals (steps) you set are: to work out four times a week by running 3 miles on Monday and Wednesday and doing a 60 minute workout videos on Thursday and Saturday.

But then you struggle getting started on Monday and then you find that the whole week is shot. Why? Because you feel defeated. Like you’ve failed even before you started.

These workout goals might be totally doable for you down the road, but when you are looking to get into a new routine, this seems like a little much to start.

Let’s set you up to succeed.

I encourage my clients to make action steps that are REALLY small and flexible to start. For some, it feels really weird and certainly “not good enough”. Work through that. Stick with me.

In the example, this might mean to do one workout in the week on whatever day they feel like it. Maybe they’ll go on an hour walk. Or maybe they’ll do one 30 minute workout video. But that is it.

Just make sure your action steps are specific, measurable, and time-limited.

With these steps, the easier the better. Why? Because the chances that they’ll actually achieve these mini-goals are much better. And then they scored a win. And a win means everything.

Compare how you feel with a win vs a week of inaction.

Set your goals small and slowly work your way up. You’ll feel the momentum and the behaviors you want will be much more likely here to stay.


Celebrate every win

I don’t care how you do this. It could be just by telling your accountability buddy that you accomplished your goal (as long as they’ll do a little cheering for you). Maybe it’s buying yourself a pedicure. Or allowing yourself to watch a movie while your kids are napping (god forbid!). Give yourself a little credit for doing EXACTLY what you said you would do. You are busy. You are human.   You deserve success.

What Happens When We Don’t Allow for Mommy Time?

[Ever write an entire blog without saving it and then logging back onto your computer to post only to find that it is missing and not listed in the trusty “document recovery” section of Word but then it magically appears there two weeks later? Weird! Me too! So if this post seems like it was written a few weeks ago, that’s because it totally was.]  So, without further ado…




At one point or another, I hear from every coaching client that they sometimes find themselves being short and reactive with their little ones. Snapping at their husbands. Feeling moody or just blah. I often hear the words, something is just missing in my life. Aaaaaand I’ve felt it.

There is a message being sent to you during these times Very surprised screaming housewifewhere you just don’t feel like yourself. Can you hear it?

My little guy has had two back-to-back illnesses so lately we’ve spent A LOT of time at home. Taking him to outdoor space hasn’t been an option due to the snow-slush-ice-bullshit EVERYWHERE (hostility? Naah. ). So, we have cancelled all of our activities (therefore my daytime adult interaction), take treacherous and brutally slow and slippery walks over mounds of said bullshit just to get out of the house and make the best of it.

Sometimes self-awareness doesn’t come quite as quickly as we’d like. Sometimes you don’t notice until the tears start rolling or the screams start detonating (or until you realize you haven’t brushed your teeth/hair or changed out of your pajamas until 3PM- not that I can relate to this in any possible way) that something needs to change.

We all get very engrossed in our lives. So much so, that it can be difficult to remember to take a moment to do a self-check.

Ask yourself, “how am I doing?”- just like you might regularly ask a loved one.

Chances are, if you are feeling totally overwhelmed, stuck, reactionary, temperamental, unfulfilled, disengaged, etc., your answer to that question might surprise you.

The next question I have for you is:

When is the last time you attended to your OWN needs? When did you last do something to nurture your soul, your body, your spirit?

The messages we’re being sent when we are acting so out of character are often that we aren’t taking care of our own needs.  You all know what happens when we don’t allow for mommy time. We become the less-than-amazing mommies that we all strive to be. We snap at our children a little easier and aren’t as present in our relationships. We are more negative. We struggle with motivation. And the list goes on and on.

What would it feel like to take a walk alone with headphones or just in silence? How would it feel to bring a book or journal to the coffee shop for a half hour… ALONE? What would a night out with the girls or your partner do for your mood? A meditation or yoga class? A mani-pedi? When is the last time you allowed for some kind of self-expression?

There are endless ideas to consider when thinking of restorative, “me” time. And it all doesn’t have to cost money. Perhaps ask your partner to watch the little ones for a half hour. Or ask another mommy to swap a few hours sitting one another’s kiddos. I’m sure she could use some alone time too!

We have to open our minds for solutions and sometimes get creative. It’s easy to focus on the problem of “not enough (time, money, friends, babysitters, etc).” when the truth is that if you really value self-care (and I HOPE YOU DO!), and you stop making excuses then you will make this happen in some way.

So stop making excuses. Stop ignoring your own needs. You are more than a momma. You are a person who has her own needs and deserves time to herself. Working or SAHM. Let’s all remember to check in with ourselves and nurture the complex individual women that we sometimes forget we are.

Be one of the six lucky mommas!!!

The Rad Mom Coach is inviting only six of you to be a part of our test group for a brand new program for crazy cheap. Is this you?:


  • Does your life feel completely out of balance?


  • Have you lost touch with whom you are as an individual?


  • Do you feel stuck or unsatisfied with the ways things have been going?


  • Having trouble with planning and staying organized?


  • Ready to take back control of your life?


The Rad Mom Coach is launching a brand new 6-week program for moms who answer yes to any of the questions above. If this is you, take advantage of this one-time opportunity. For realsies.

We are creating a test group for our new group coaching program at a ridiculously low price for six mammas only.

Regularly priced at $450, six of you will join the program for only $225.

That’s less than $38 per session. Crazy cheap.

The program includes six, 1-hour phone coaching sessions with five other mothers who know exactly how you are feeling and with whom you will likely remain friends. You will be provided with a conference call number and a private Facebook group designed to support and interact with one another between and after sessions. Also, you will receive weekly workbooks and accountability for doing the things you say you’re going to do!

Each session will have a general topic with plenty of room for individual coaching. Topics covered include:


  • How to reconnect with yourself and become clear on your vision for your life.


  • How to take charge and become the driver of your life (instead of the passenger).


  • How to find a healthy balance and practice self-care (say what?!).


  • How to make your schedule work for you.


  • How to eliminate barriers that have been getting in your way.


  • And one bonus session where the group decides what to work on!


If you are interested in joining the test group, contact Kacey Kaufman, CPC, LCSW-R, ELI-MP aka The Rad Mom Coach at kacey@theradmom.com. We will then schedule a short phone call where we will decide if you are a good match for the group. Don’t procrastinate because the group should fill up quickly!

Excited to hear from the lucky six!